For me, such moments present an invaluable opportunity to look inward, to explore what lies beneath the surface of this statement. What is truly holding us back? What purpose does it serve? And most importantly, how can we compassionately guide ourselves out of that stuck place?

The Patterns That Hold Us Back

I have a deep respect for the emotions and patterns that keep us stuck. These patterns, in many cases, have been with us for years. They often act as protective mechanisms, shielding us from perceived harm and keeping us safe in moments of vulnerability. While they serve a purpose, they can also become rigid over time, even when our circumstances have changed.

The roots of these patterns can vary greatly. They might stem from significant life events—what some call “big T” trauma—or from subtler, more cumulative experiences, often referred to as “small t” trauma. Regardless of their origin, these experiences leave imprints that shape how we navigate the world.

But what if those patterns no longer need to be so fixed? What if the protection they once provided isn’t as necessary now? Perhaps the time has come to soften them and explore a new way of being.

My Personal Journey

One of the most profound challenges in my life was the passing of my mother. Her loss was devastating, and for a long time, it left me feeling completely stuck. I couldn’t move forward, no matter how much I wanted to.

Eventually, I realised that I needed to turn inward—not with judgment or frustration, but with gentle curiosity and kindness. By allowing myself the space to process and explore my emotions, I began to shift out of that immobilising state. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. But with patience and compassion, I found a way to honour my grief while also reclaiming my capacity to grow.

Readiness for Change

One thing I’ve learned through my personal and professional experiences is that readiness for change is essential. It’s not something that can be forced or rushed. The timing has to feel right, and there must be a willingness to embrace curiosity about one’s inner world.

I also recognise that this journey isn’t for everyone. Personal growth is deeply individual, and finding the right person to guide you is crucial. If you don’t feel comfortable with someone, the process won’t feel safe or effective. My role isn’t to push anyone into change but rather to plant a seed. Others may help water it, and when the time is right, you might find yourself ready to step into a new phase of personal development.

The Allure of Staying Stuck

There are valid reasons why we often choose to stay stuck. For one, it’s familiar. The known, even when it’s uncomfortable, can feel safer than stepping into the unknown. Change can be daunting, and the prospect of living differently might feel overwhelming at first.

But what if we allowed ourselves to imagine a different way of being? What if, instead of focusing on the fear of change, we explored the possibilities it could bring?

Transformations Through Curiosity and Growth

In my own journey, embracing gentle curiosity has led to profound transformations. I’ve discovered a more natural confidence and a stronger sense of agency. My connections with others and with nature have deepened, and I’ve found joy, peace, and contentment in places I hadn’t expected.

I’ve also had the privilege of witnessing these shifts in the clients who trust me to work with them. Their journeys are uniquely their own, but the underlying themes are often the same: greater self-awareness, a sense of empowerment, and a renewed capacity for connection and joy.

An Invitation to Begin

If you’re feeling stuck, I invite you to approach your experience with curiosity and compassion. What might be holding you back, and what purpose does it serve? And perhaps most importantly, what would it feel like to live differently?

The journey toward personal growth doesn’t have to be rushed or forced. It begins with small steps, with a willingness to explore and imagine. And when the time is right, you might find that the changes you once feared are exactly what you need to move forward with confidence, peace, and joy.