Releasing Resistance for Emotional Clarity
For example, if you feel sadness and you don't try to resist or suppress it, the feeling will register vividly in your awareness and then naturally dissipate. However, there are times when we try to avoid the feeling of sadness, and we unintentionally block the flow of our emotions by tightening our bodies and energy.
This is when the resistance traps the emotion in our bodies. When we prevent the emotion from flowing freely, the holding pattern can become chronic, creating rigidity in our being. Especially if it becomes a familiar pattern. This rigidity limits our ability to fully feel emotions, and it also acts as a barrier between ourselves and others.
The sadness that is held in this way can colour our entire experience, making life always seem a little sad. On the other hand, if we simply allow ourselves to experience life as it is in each moment, there is a much smoother flow.
As a Senior Teacher in the Realization Process, I’ve found that the more I practice, the more I naturally experience the effortless flow of life. Let me explain: The body can be perceived in different ways—as physical matter, as energy, or as stillness. The most subtle experience of the body is stillness, and we can learn to attune to this deeper dimension of our being. Even if you do not sense it now, that doesn’t mean it isn’t present.
The more I connect with this subtle level of being, the more naturally I settle into this dimension of life. Thoughts, emotions, physiological processes, and external circumstances all move through this underlying stillness. Through practice, we learn to open ourselves to both the deep stillness and the dynamic flow of life simultaneously.
For instance, when I meditate and the postman knocks at the door, it doesn't disturb me. I just get up, answer the door, and return to my meditation without any disruption.
It wasn’t until I read a quote in one of Dr. Judith Blackstone’s books recently that the penny dropped and I fully understood the concept: “The more we attune to and become that stillness available to all of us, the more the movement of life happens without obstruction, resistance, or distortion.”
Rather than experiencing this stillness just while I meditate, it is gradually becoming a way of life.
Healing Anxiety Through Embodiment
Anxiety is more than just an emotion; it is often a physical pattern held in the body. This tension commonly gathers in areas such as the diaphragm, neck, shoulders, and chest, creating a sensation of "up and forward" movement and affecting breathing. This posture serves as a protective mechanism to suppress overwhelming emotions, many of which are rooted in early childhood experiences when we felt vulnerable and unsafe.
These emotions can feel intense and even life-threatening because they tap into the perspective of a younger, less-resourced self. However, these sensations are echoes of past experiences held in the body. When we begin to recognise anxiety as a stored physiological response rather than an immediate threat, we create space for healing. Awareness is the first step in shifting these deep-seated patterns.
Healing comes when we meet these patterns with gentleness and care. By bringing tender breath, focused attention, and a felt sense of safety to these held tensions, we can begin to soften and release them. As this happens, the "up and forward" motion of anxiety can settle into a "back and down" posture, signalling relaxation and grounding.
One powerful method for achieving this shift is through the Realization Process, a meditative approach that facilitates deep embodiment and inner connection. Developed by Judith Blackstone, the Realization Process guides individuals to inhabit their bodies fully, allowing them to contact the subtle holding patterns that contribute to anxiety. By moving awareness inward and recognising the space within the body, we can gently unwind these contractions and foster a sense of openness and wholeness. This process helps us experience ourselves beyond the constraints of past conditioning, making room for a more balanced, present, and authentic way of being.
Meditation, in general, also plays a crucial role in alleviating anxiety. Regular practice allows us to observe thoughts and emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them. Mindfulness meditation, for example, trains us to witness our anxious patterns with curiosity rather than judgment. As we develop this inner awareness, we become less identified with our anxious states and more rooted in the present moment. Breathing exercises, body scans, and visualisation techniques can all aid in calming the nervous system and reinforcing a sense of internal stability.
Through a combination of mindfulness, breathwork, and embodiment practices like the Realization Process, we can begin to unwind the physical and emotional imprints of anxiety. This process of softening and release allows for deep healing. It helps dissolve long-held patterns, paving the way for radical transformation and a greater sense of wholeness and well-being. By cultivating inner spaciousness and reconnecting with our true nature, we shift from merely coping with anxiety to genuinely healing from it, allowing us to experience life with greater ease, presence, and authenticity.
Are You Struggling with Feelings of Low Self-Worth?
This is where I can help. I guide you to connect with that inner sense of safety, an experience that can profoundly shift how you feel about yourself. It’s remarkable how discovering this inner security can create the perfect foundation for transforming feelings of lack and insecurity.
While talking about self-worth, exploring its roots, or learning techniques to manage those feelings can be helpful, they often fall short of bringing lasting change. True transformation happens when you experience safety within yourself.
Why Self-Worth Feels So Fragile
Many people struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. These emotions often stem from past experiences, societal pressures, or deeply ingrained beliefs about what it means to be “enough.” If you’ve ever felt like you had to earn your worth through achievements, relationships, or external validation, you’re not alone.
But here’s the truth: self-worth is not something you need to prove. It’s something you can rediscover within yourself.
The Key to Transforming Low Self-Worth
A common misconception is that improving self-worth is about thinking more positively or achieving more. While external success can provide temporary confidence, it doesn’t create lasting change. Real transformation happens when you feel safe within yourself, when you trust that your value is inherent and unshakable.
Without this internal foundation, self-worth remains fragile, dependent on outside circumstances. But when you develop inner safety, you cultivate a resilience that allows you to navigate life’s challenges with confidence.
What Is Inner Safety?
Inner safety is a sense of deep trust in yourself. It’s the feeling that you are okay, no matter what happens. It’s knowing that even when challenges arise, you are still whole, still valuable, still enough.
This isn’t about suppressing difficult emotions. Instead, it’s about learning to hold them with compassion, so they no longer define your sense of self. When you feel safe within, self-doubt loses its grip on you.
How to Cultivate Inner Safety
Developing inner safety is a journey, but it’s one that leads to profound growth. Here are some ways to begin:
- Practice Self-Compassion – Speak to yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a loved one. When negative thoughts arise, acknowledge them without self-judgement.
- Ground Yourself in the Present – Mindfulness, deep breathing, and body awareness exercises can help you feel more stable and secure.
- Allow Yourself to Feel – Instead of pushing emotions away, allow them to exist without resistance. The more you embrace your feelings, the less power they have over you.
- Reflect on Your Resilience – Remind yourself of times when you’ve overcome challenges. Recognising your own strength reinforces self-trust.
- Seek Support When Needed – Sometimes, having a guide can make the process easier. Working with someone who understands this journey can help you access inner safety more effectively.
You Are Worthy Just as You Are
If you’ve spent years struggling with low self-worth, it’s understandable to feel hesitant about change. But you don’t have to stay stuck in patterns of self-doubt and insecurity. When you develop inner safety, you create a foundation that supports lasting self-worth.
If this approach speaks to you, I’d love to help you explore it further. Contact me directly, and let’s begin this journey together. You deserve to feel secure, worthy, and at peace within yourself.
How to Reconnect with the Feeling of Contentment or Joy
How often do we pause to reflect on moments of contentment, love, happiness, or joy? In the rush of daily life, it’s easy to overlook these feelings, letting them slip through our fingers as we move from one task to another. I know I haven’t always made time for that in my own life. More often than not, my mind has been preoccupied with worries, responsibilities, and self-criticism. It’s easy to dwell on sadness, loss, or anxiety - or even to feel regret over small, seemingly insignificant things, like eating that extra piece of cake or saying something we wish we hadn’t. Somehow, being hard on ourselves feels easier, doesn’t it? We often focus on what we could improve or change. While reflection can certainly help with that, what if we tried something different?
Let’s switch tactics.
Close your eyes and think about a time when you felt truly content, or filled with love or happiness. Maybe it was a quiet morning with a cup of coffee, the sun streaming through your window. Perhaps it was a heartfelt conversation with a friend, laughter bubbling between you. Or maybe it was a moment of stillness, standing by the ocean, feeling the waves wash over your feet. Try to bring that moment to life in your mind. Who was there? Where were you? What could you see, smell, or hear? Engage all of your senses as you recall the memory.
Now, gently set the memory aside and focus on the feeling of contentment in your body. What does it feel like - not as a thought, but as a sensation? This might take some practice. We often stay in our heads, thinking about emotions rather than truly feeling them in our bodies. Try to drop out of your thinking mind and notice where in your body you experience that sense of contentment. Is it a warmth in your chest? A lightness in your stomach? A sense of ease in your shoulders?
Once you’ve located the feeling, use your breath to nurture and expand it. As you inhale, imagine that feeling growing stronger, spreading gently through your body. As you exhale, release any tension or resistance, allowing yourself to settle into the sensation. With each breath, let the feeling deepen and expand. See if you can extend it to other parts of your body, letting one part teach the rest to experience that sensation.
Keep going until the feeling fills your whole body. Let it flow through you like a wave, washing over every muscle, every cell, every inch of your being. And as you breathe, allow yourself to fully experience that sense of contentment throughout your entire self.
This practice doesn’t have to take long. Just a few minutes each day can help you reconnect with the feeling of contentment or joy in your body. Over time, it can become a powerful resource, grounding you in the present moment and helping you navigate life with greater ease and presence.
So why not make this a daily habit? Take a moment to pause, breathe, and feel. The more you practice, the easier it will be to access this sense of well-being whenever you need it. And if you’d like to explore more practices like this, feel free to reach out - I’d love to guide you on your journey to deeper connection and well-being.
Learn How to Connect to Your Beingness - But Why & What’s The Benefit?
It’s a concept often discussed in philosophy, spirituality, and mindfulness practices, pointing to the intrinsic nature of who we are beyond the layers of thought, emotion, and societal conditioning.
At its core, beingness is the state of awareness, presence, and existence without the need for justification or action. It’s the recognition that we are – a conscious presence independent of what we do, think, or achieve.
Characteristics of Beingness:
Timeless and Unchanging
It represents the part of us that is unaffected by the passing of time, external circumstances, or internal fluctuations.
Pure Awareness
Beingness is tied to the quality of being fully present in the moment, aware of existence itself without judgment or distraction.
Essence Beyond Identity
It is not tied to labels like “I am a parent,” “I am a teacher,” or “I am successful.” It goes deeper, touching the fundamental “I am” that exists before these descriptors.
Connection to Unity
In many spiritual traditions, beingness is seen as the shared essence of all life – a universal presence that connects us, to one another, and to existence itself.
Experiencing Beingness
- Through Stillness: Meditation, mindfulness, and contemplative practices help quiet the noise of the mind, allowing us to connect with our beingness.
- Through Presence: Engaging fully with the present moment, without distractions or expectations, brings us closer to this state.
- Through Letting Go: Releasing attachment to roles, outcomes, or possessions can reveal the deeper sense of simply being.
Why It Matters
Connecting with our beingness can bring a profound sense of peace, clarity, and authenticity. It reminds us that we are inherently whole and valuable, not because of what we achieve but because of what we are. From this place, we can live with greater compassion, alignment, and freedom.
In short, beingness is the timeless, infinite core of who we are – an anchor in a world of constant change.
Navigating Menopause: The Power of Embodiment
To feel truly alive, it’s important to release this tension and be fully present in the body.
The practice of embodiment helps reconnect with the grounded, peaceful part of oneself that remains steady through life’s changes. By gently attuning to the body’s sensations, breath, and emotions, one can find balance and resilience, easing the physical and emotional shifts of menopause. To explore this deeper, consider the Realization Process (or meditation practices) as a supportive way to cultivate presence and ease during this transformative time.
Embodiment practices offer several benefits:
- Reconnecting with the body: Gently return to the body, listening to and honouring its signals with kindness, fostering trust and ease.
- Emotional balance: Stay present and create space to process emotions without feeling overwhelmed.
- Soothing physical symptoms: Mindful movement and breath awareness help alleviate discomfort, such as hot flashes and tension.
- Cultivating self-compassion: Approach yourself with tenderness, embracing change with acceptance and softness.
- Feeling whole and alive: Menopause is a time of transformation. Embodiment supports feeling grounded, vibrant, and at peace, seeing this phase as an opportunity for renewal.
Embodiment during menopause offers a gentle path to reconnect with oneself, embracing the body’s changes with compassion, and fostering a deeper sense of aliveness and ease throughout the journey.
The embodiment practices taught here are gentle and subtle – so subtle that some may initially overlook or doubt their effectiveness. However, they are possibly among the most powerful exercises available. As the saying goes, “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast,” capturing the profound results these practices offer.
Unlocking Peace, Confidence, and Connection Through Mind-Body Awareness
It’s easy to think we’re present, but in reality, many of us are more often caught up in our thoughts, worries, or distractions. I once had a client who wrote the word “present” on his hand as a reminder to bring himself back to the here and now. While it’s a great prompt, truly being present goes beyond a mental note – it requires us to engage not just our mind, but also our body and our whole being.
This shift in perspective isn’t always immediate. It’s a gradual process that unfolds as we begin to bring awareness to all parts of ourselves. But the good news is, it’s something that’s possible for each of us, whenever we’re ready.
So, what are the benefits of fully being present in mind, body, and being?
- A more content and peaceful state of living
- Greater self-confidence that stems from truly knowing ourselves
- Improved communication skills, as we become more attuned to both ourselves and others
- Deeper, more meaningful relationships in all areas of life
- A profound sense of wellbeing that comes from being grounded and connected to our inner self
If the benefits are so valuable, why don’t more people embrace this way of living? Well, for some, it can seem like it requires too much effort. We’re so used to living on autopilot that the idea of slowing down can feel daunting. Others may feel fear – fear of change, or fear of stepping outside of their comfort zone. And for some, they might simply feel content where they are and don’t see a reason to explore something new. And that’s perfectly okay. Everyone’s journey is their own, and we all have the right to choose the pace and direction that feels right for us.
I’m passionate about guiding those who are curious and open to discovering more about themselves. I love supporting people as they explore new possibilities and deepen their connection to their whole being. If you’re feeling ready to take that step, I teach embodiment practices designed to help you connect fully with your mind, body, and being. These practices are gentle, easy to learn, and incredibly powerful. The best part is that they often take just 10 minutes a day, making it accessible even with a busy schedule.
If any of this resonates with you, or if you’re simply curious to learn more, I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to reach out whenever you’re ready to explore this journey together.
Are You Ready for Personal Growth?
For me, such moments present an invaluable opportunity to look inward, to explore what lies beneath the surface of this statement. What is truly holding us back? What purpose does it serve? And most importantly, how can we compassionately guide ourselves out of that stuck place?
The Patterns That Hold Us Back
I have a deep respect for the emotions and patterns that keep us stuck. These patterns, in many cases, have been with us for years. They often act as protective mechanisms, shielding us from perceived harm and keeping us safe in moments of vulnerability. While they serve a purpose, they can also become rigid over time, even when our circumstances have changed.
The roots of these patterns can vary greatly. They might stem from significant life events—what some call “big T” trauma—or from subtler, more cumulative experiences, often referred to as “small t” trauma. Regardless of their origin, these experiences leave imprints that shape how we navigate the world.
But what if those patterns no longer need to be so fixed? What if the protection they once provided isn’t as necessary now? Perhaps the time has come to soften them and explore a new way of being.
My Personal Journey
One of the most profound challenges in my life was the passing of my mother. Her loss was devastating, and for a long time, it left me feeling completely stuck. I couldn’t move forward, no matter how much I wanted to.
Eventually, I realised that I needed to turn inward—not with judgment or frustration, but with gentle curiosity and kindness. By allowing myself the space to process and explore my emotions, I began to shift out of that immobilising state. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. But with patience and compassion, I found a way to honour my grief while also reclaiming my capacity to grow.
Readiness for Change
One thing I’ve learned through my personal and professional experiences is that readiness for change is essential. It’s not something that can be forced or rushed. The timing has to feel right, and there must be a willingness to embrace curiosity about one’s inner world.
I also recognise that this journey isn’t for everyone. Personal growth is deeply individual, and finding the right person to guide you is crucial. If you don’t feel comfortable with someone, the process won’t feel safe or effective. My role isn’t to push anyone into change but rather to plant a seed. Others may help water it, and when the time is right, you might find yourself ready to step into a new phase of personal development.
The Allure of Staying Stuck
There are valid reasons why we often choose to stay stuck. For one, it’s familiar. The known, even when it’s uncomfortable, can feel safer than stepping into the unknown. Change can be daunting, and the prospect of living differently might feel overwhelming at first.
But what if we allowed ourselves to imagine a different way of being? What if, instead of focusing on the fear of change, we explored the possibilities it could bring?
Transformations Through Curiosity and Growth
In my own journey, embracing gentle curiosity has led to profound transformations. I’ve discovered a more natural confidence and a stronger sense of agency. My connections with others and with nature have deepened, and I’ve found joy, peace, and contentment in places I hadn’t expected.
I’ve also had the privilege of witnessing these shifts in the clients who trust me to work with them. Their journeys are uniquely their own, but the underlying themes are often the same: greater self-awareness, a sense of empowerment, and a renewed capacity for connection and joy.
An Invitation to Begin
If you’re feeling stuck, I invite you to approach your experience with curiosity and compassion. What might be holding you back, and what purpose does it serve? And perhaps most importantly, what would it feel like to live differently?
The journey toward personal growth doesn’t have to be rushed or forced. It begins with small steps, with a willingness to explore and imagine. And when the time is right, you might find that the changes you once feared are exactly what you need to move forward with confidence, peace, and joy.
Being Human by Naima Penniman
I wonder if the sun debates dawn
some mornings
not wanting to rise
out of bed
from under the down-feather horizon
if the sky grows tired
of being everywhere at once
adapting to the mood
swings of the weather
if clouds drift off
trying to hold themselves together
make deals with gravity
to loiter a little longer
I wonder if rain is scared
of falling
if it has trouble
letting go
if snow flakes get sick
of being perfect all the time
each one
trying to be one-of-a-kind
I wonder if stars wish
upon themselves before they die
if they need to teach their young
how to shine
I wonder if shadows long
to just for once feel the sun
if they get lost in the shuffle
not knowing where they’re from
I wonder if sunrise
and sunset
respect each other
even though they’ve never met
if volcanoes get stressed
if storms have regrets
if compost believes in life
after death
I wonder if breath ever thinks of suicide
if the wind just wants to sit
still sometimes
and watch the world pass by
if smoke was born
knowing how to rise
if rainbows get shy backstage
not sure if their colours match right
I wonder if lightning sets an alarm clock
to know when to crack
if rivers ever stop
and think of turning back
if streams meet the wrong sea
and their whole lives run off-track
I wonder if the snow
wants to be black
if the soil thinks she’s too dark
if butterflies want to cover up their marks
if rocks are self-conscious of their weight
if mountains are insecure of their strength
I wonder if waves get discouraged
crawling up the sand
only to be pulled back again
to where they began
if land feels stepped upon
if sand feels insignificant
if trees need to question their lovers
to know where they stand
if branches waver at the crossroads
unsure of which way to grow
if the leaves understand they’re replaceable
and still dance when the wind blows
I wonder
where the moon goes
when she is in hiding
I want to find her there
and watch the ocean
spin from a distance
listen to her
stir in her sleep
effort give way to existence
The Difference Between Concentrating and Focusing
A colleague recently shared his struggles with me, explaining how exhausting it can be to maintain concentration while writing documents. His experience got me thinking about the difference between concentrating and focusing, and how understanding this distinction can improve both productivity and mental well-being.
Concentration vs. Focus
The terms “concentrate” and “focus” are often used interchangeably, but they describe different approaches to attention. Concentration involves exerting significant mental effort to block out distractions and stay on task. It’s deliberate and intense, often requiring a heightened level of willpower. While this can be effective for short periods, the sustained effort can be mentally exhausting, leading to fatigue and decreased productivity over time.
Focus, by contrast, is about directing attention in a more relaxed and natural way. It doesn’t demand the same level of intensity or effort as concentration. Think of focus as a steady, calm engagement with the task at hand, where distractions fade into the background without the need for force or struggle.
The distinction may seem subtle, but it can have a profound impact on how we approach tasks. Concentration feels like trying to tightly grip a slippery object, whereas focus resembles gently holding something in place with minimal effort.
A Practical Shift
When I suggested to my colleague that he try focusing instead of concentrating, he was sceptical at first. But after giving it a shot, he was surprised by how much easier it became to work on his documents. His newfound sense of ease not only improved his productivity but also reduced the mental strain he had been experiencing.
This simple shift can be transformative, and it’s something you can experiment with yourself.
Try It for Yourself
Here’s a quick exercise to help you feel the difference between concentrating and focusing:
Find an object in your environment to look at—perhaps a piece of art, a plant, or even your coffee mug.
Start by concentrating on the object. Notice how much effort it takes to keep your attention fixed on it. You might feel your mind working hard to block out other stimuli.
Next, shift to focusing on the same object. Instead of forcing your attention, allow it to settle gently. Be curious and relaxed as you observe the object, letting distractions come and go without resistance.
Did you notice the difference? For most people, focusing feels lighter and more sustainable, while concentrating feels heavier and more draining.
The Science Behind Effortless Attention
Why does focusing feel easier than concentrating? The answer lies in how our brains handle attention. Concentration often triggers the brain’s “fight or flight” response, as it involves suppressing distractions and hyper-focusing on one thing. This can lead to tension and fatigue.
Focusing, on the other hand, taps into the brain’s natural ability to direct attention in a calm, non-resistant manner. By allowing distractions to exist without engaging with them, we conserve mental energy and reduce stress.
Applying Focus in Daily Life
Incorporating focus into your daily routine doesn’t require a major overhaul. Start by practising mindful observation during simple tasks, such as washing dishes, walking, or having a conversation. Shift from concentrating on doing things “right” to focusing on the process itself.
For work tasks, set clear intentions for what you want to accomplish and approach them with curiosity rather than rigidity. This mindset can help you stay engaged without exhausting yourself.
A Balanced Approach to Attention
While concentration has its place—such as in short bursts for solving complex problems—relying on it exclusively can lead to burnout. Focusing offers a more balanced and sustainable way to direct your attention, helping you achieve more with less effort.
By understanding and practising the difference between concentrating and focusing, you can transform how you approach tasks, reduce mental fatigue, and cultivate a greater sense of ease in your daily life. So, why not give it a try? The next time you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to pause and shift your attention from effortful concentration to gentle focus. The results might surprise you.