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It’s a concept often discussed in philosophy, spirituality, and mindfulness practices, pointing to the intrinsic nature of who we are beyond the layers of thought, emotion, and societal conditioning.

At its core, beingness is the state of awareness, presence, and existence without the need for justification or action. It’s the recognition that we are – a conscious presence independent of what we do, think, or achieve.

Characteristics of Beingness:

Timeless and Unchanging

It represents the part of us that is unaffected by the passing of time, external circumstances, or internal fluctuations.

Pure Awareness

Beingness is tied to the quality of being fully present in the moment, aware of existence itself without judgment or distraction.

Essence Beyond Identity

It is not tied to labels like “I am a parent,” “I am a teacher,” or “I am successful.” It goes deeper, touching the fundamental “I am” that exists before these descriptors.

Connection to Unity

In many spiritual traditions, beingness is seen as the shared essence of all life – a universal presence that connects us, to one another, and to existence itself.

Experiencing Beingness

• Through Stillness: Meditation, mindfulness, and contemplative practices help quiet the noise of the mind, allowing us to connect with our beingness.
• Through Presence: Engaging fully with the present moment, without distractions or expectations, brings us closer to this state.
• Through Letting Go: Releasing attachment to roles, outcomes, or possessions can reveal the deeper sense of simply being.

Why It Matters

Connecting with our beingness can bring a profound sense of peace, clarity, and authenticity. It reminds us that we are inherently whole and valuable, not because of what we achieve but because of what we are. From this place, we can live with greater compassion, alignment, and freedom.

In short, beingness is the timeless, infinite core of who we are – an anchor in a world of constant change.

To feel truly alive, it’s important to release this tension and be fully present in the body.

The practice of embodiment helps reconnect with the grounded, peaceful part of oneself that remains steady through life’s changes. By gently attuning to the body’s sensations, breath, and emotions, one can find balance and resilience, easing the physical and emotional shifts of menopause. To explore this deeper, consider the Realization Process (or meditation practices) as a supportive way to cultivate presence and ease during this transformative time.

Embodiment practices offer several benefits:

• Reconnecting with the body: Gently return to the body, listening to and honouring its signals with kindness, fostering trust and ease.
• Emotional balance: Stay present and create space to process emotions without feeling overwhelmed.
• Soothing physical symptoms: Mindful movement and breath awareness help alleviate discomfort, such as hot flashes and tension.
• Cultivating self-compassion: Approach yourself with tenderness, embracing change with acceptance and softness.
• Feeling whole and alive: Menopause is a time of transformation. Embodiment supports feeling grounded, vibrant, and at peace, seeing this phase as an opportunity for renewal.

Embodiment during menopause offers a gentle path to reconnect with oneself, embracing the body’s changes with compassion, and fostering a deeper sense of aliveness and ease throughout the journey.

The embodiment practices taught here are gentle and subtle – so subtle that some may initially overlook or doubt their effectiveness. However, they are possibly among the most powerful exercises available. As the saying goes, “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast,” capturing the profound results these practices offer.

It’s easy to think we’re present, but in reality, many of us are more often caught up in our thoughts, worries, or distractions. I once had a client who wrote the word “present” on his hand as a reminder to bring himself back to the here and now. While it’s a great prompt, truly being present goes beyond a mental note – it requires us to engage not just our mind, but also our body and our whole being.

This shift in perspective isn’t always immediate. It’s a gradual process that unfolds as we begin to bring awareness to all parts of ourselves. But the good news is, it’s something that’s possible for each of us, whenever we’re ready.

So, what are the benefits of fully being present in mind, body, and being?

• A more content and peaceful state of living
• Greater self-confidence that stems from truly knowing ourselves
• Improved communication skills, as we become more attuned to both ourselves and others
• Deeper, more meaningful relationships in all areas of life
• A profound sense of wellbeing that comes from being grounded and connected to our inner self

If the benefits are so valuable, why don’t more people embrace this way of living? Well, for some, it can seem like it requires too much effort. We’re so used to living on autopilot that the idea of slowing down can feel daunting. Others may feel fear – fear of change, or fear of stepping outside of their comfort zone. And for some, they might simply feel content where they are and don’t see a reason to explore something new. And that’s perfectly okay. Everyone’s journey is their own, and we all have the right to choose the pace and direction that feels right for us.

I’m passionate about guiding those who are curious and open to discovering more about themselves. I love supporting people as they explore new possibilities and deepen their connection to their whole being. If you’re feeling ready to take that step, I teach embodiment practices designed to help you connect fully with your mind, body, and being. These practices are gentle, easy to learn, and incredibly powerful. The best part is that they often take just 10 minutes a day, making it accessible even with a busy schedule.

If any of this resonates with you, or if you’re simply curious to learn more, I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to reach out whenever you’re ready to explore this journey together.

For me, such moments present an invaluable opportunity to look inward, to explore what lies beneath the surface of this statement. What is truly holding us back? What purpose does it serve? And most importantly, how can we compassionately guide ourselves out of that stuck place?

The Patterns That Hold Us Back

I have a deep respect for the emotions and patterns that keep us stuck. These patterns, in many cases, have been with us for years. They often act as protective mechanisms, shielding us from perceived harm and keeping us safe in moments of vulnerability. While they serve a purpose, they can also become rigid over time, even when our circumstances have changed.

The roots of these patterns can vary greatly. They might stem from significant life events—what some call “big T” trauma—or from subtler, more cumulative experiences, often referred to as “small t” trauma. Regardless of their origin, these experiences leave imprints that shape how we navigate the world.

But what if those patterns no longer need to be so fixed? What if the protection they once provided isn’t as necessary now? Perhaps the time has come to soften them and explore a new way of being.

My Personal Journey

One of the most profound challenges in my life was the passing of my mother. Her loss was devastating, and for a long time, it left me feeling completely stuck. I couldn’t move forward, no matter how much I wanted to.

Eventually, I realised that I needed to turn inward—not with judgment or frustration, but with gentle curiosity and kindness. By allowing myself the space to process and explore my emotions, I began to shift out of that immobilising state. It wasn’t easy, and it didn’t happen overnight. But with patience and compassion, I found a way to honour my grief while also reclaiming my capacity to grow.

Readiness for Change

One thing I’ve learned through my personal and professional experiences is that readiness for change is essential. It’s not something that can be forced or rushed. The timing has to feel right, and there must be a willingness to embrace curiosity about one’s inner world.

I also recognise that this journey isn’t for everyone. Personal growth is deeply individual, and finding the right person to guide you is crucial. If you don’t feel comfortable with someone, the process won’t feel safe or effective. My role isn’t to push anyone into change but rather to plant a seed. Others may help water it, and when the time is right, you might find yourself ready to step into a new phase of personal development.

The Allure of Staying Stuck

There are valid reasons why we often choose to stay stuck. For one, it’s familiar. The known, even when it’s uncomfortable, can feel safer than stepping into the unknown. Change can be daunting, and the prospect of living differently might feel overwhelming at first.

But what if we allowed ourselves to imagine a different way of being? What if, instead of focusing on the fear of change, we explored the possibilities it could bring?

Transformations Through Curiosity and Growth

In my own journey, embracing gentle curiosity has led to profound transformations. I’ve discovered a more natural confidence and a stronger sense of agency. My connections with others and with nature have deepened, and I’ve found joy, peace, and contentment in places I hadn’t expected.

I’ve also had the privilege of witnessing these shifts in the clients who trust me to work with them. Their journeys are uniquely their own, but the underlying themes are often the same: greater self-awareness, a sense of empowerment, and a renewed capacity for connection and joy.

An Invitation to Begin

If you’re feeling stuck, I invite you to approach your experience with curiosity and compassion. What might be holding you back, and what purpose does it serve? And perhaps most importantly, what would it feel like to live differently?

The journey toward personal growth doesn’t have to be rushed or forced. It begins with small steps, with a willingness to explore and imagine. And when the time is right, you might find that the changes you once feared are exactly what you need to move forward with confidence, peace, and joy.

I wonder if the sun debates dawn
some mornings
not wanting to rise
out of bed
from under the down-feather horizon

if the sky grows tired
of being everywhere at once
adapting to the mood
swings of the weather

if clouds drift off
trying to hold themselves together
make deals with gravity
to loiter a little longer

I wonder if rain is scared
of falling
if it has trouble
letting go

if snow flakes get sick
of being perfect all the time
each one
trying to be one-of-a-kind

I wonder if stars wish
upon themselves before they die
if they need to teach their young
how to shine

I wonder if shadows long
to just for once feel the sun
if they get lost in the shuffle
not knowing where they’re from

I wonder if sunrise
and sunset
respect each other
even though they’ve never met

if volcanoes get stressed
if storms have regrets
if compost believes in life
after death

I wonder if breath ever thinks of suicide
if the wind just wants to sit
still sometimes
and watch the world pass by

if smoke was born
knowing how to rise
if rainbows get shy backstage
not sure if their colours match right

I wonder if lightning sets an alarm clock
to know when to crack
if rivers ever stop
and think of turning back

if streams meet the wrong sea
and their whole lives run off-track
I wonder if the snow
wants to be black

if the soil thinks she’s too dark
if butterflies want to cover up their marks
if rocks are self-conscious of their weight
if mountains are insecure of their strength

I wonder if waves get discouraged
crawling up the sand
only to be pulled back again
to where they began

if land feels stepped upon
if sand feels insignificant
if trees need to question their lovers
to know where they stand

if branches waver at the crossroads
unsure of which way to grow
if the leaves understand they’re replaceable
and still dance when the wind blows

I wonder
where the moon goes
when she is in hiding
I want to find her there

and watch the ocean
spin from a distance
listen to her
stir in her sleep

effort give way to existence

Understanding this complex connection can help us approach chronic pain with more empathy and better treatment strategies.

The Brain’s Role in Chronic Pain

Our brain, specifically the limbic system, plays a significant role in how chronic pain is processed and experienced. This system includes key areas like:

• Amygdala: Involved in emotions and memory.
• Hippocampus: Critical for learning and memory.
• Prefrontal Cortex: Essential for motivation and emotional responses.

Functional MRI studies have shown increased activity in these areas during chronic pain, highlighting its emotional and psychological dimensions.

Why This Matters for You

Understanding that chronic pain is not solely a physical issue can change how you approach your treatment. When I talk to my clients about the emotional aspect of their chronic pain, they often say, “But I don’t feel any emotion when I have this pain!” This is a common experience. It’s also true that precisely because they are not feeling any emotion, the pain persists.

For example, after undergoing surgery, you might experience pain in the area where the surgery was performed. You might think the surgery did not work well. However, most of the time, the surgery did help to heal you (unless the surgery was specifically for pain). Typically, what happens is that your survival mechanism bypasses your conscious mind and goes directly to your subconscious mind.

The Subconscious and Pain

During surgery, even if you are not consciously aware, there is a certain level of fear present. As time passes, the physical healing of the surgery site occurs. But often, the area becomes numb, you can’t feel it completely, or you develop chronic pain there. This happens because certain aspects of your emotional body are still stored in the tissues of the surgery site.

A Real-Life Example

Consider the experience of one of my clients. She had surgery on her head to remove a small tumour. After she recovered and was told the surgery was successful, she began experiencing throbbing pain in the area whenever she got stressed. Initially, she thought something was wrong and that the tumour might still be there. She had exams done, and her doctor confirmed that all was well.

We worked together to address the emotional component of her pain. Through our sessions, she was able to release the emotions stored in that area. Her pain disappeared and never came back.

How Emotional Release Can Help

Releasing stored emotions can be a powerful step in alleviating chronic pain. Here are some strategies that can help:

1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practices that help you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings can be crucial. Mindfulness and meditation allow you to observe your mental and emotional patterns without judgment, helping you identify and release stored emotions.
2. Therapeutic Techniques: Working with a therapist skilled in techniques like somatic experiencing can help uncover and address the emotional roots of chronic pain.
3. Body Awareness: Engaging in activities that enhance your body awareness, such as yoga or tai chi, can help you reconnect with areas of your body where emotions may be stored. These practices promote relaxation and can facilitate emotional release.
4. Journaling: Writing about your experiences and emotions can be a powerful way to process and release them. Journaling provides a safe space to explore your inner world and can reveal patterns and insights that were previously hidden.
5. Breathwork: Techniques like diaphragmatic breathing and pranayama can help calm the nervous system and release stored tension. Deep, slow breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation and healing.

Chronic pain is an issue that involves more than just physical sensations. It is deeply connected to our emotions, memories, and subconscious mind. By addressing the emotional and psychological dimensions of chronic pain, you can achieve more comprehensive and lasting relief.

If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of chronic pain despite trying various treatments, it might be time to explore the emotional aspects of your condition. Understanding and releasing stored emotions can be a crucial step in your healing journey.

Don’t let chronic pain control your life. By integrating mind and body approaches, you can find relief and reclaim your well-being. If you’re ready to explore this deeper connection and work towards healing, let’s chat. Your journey to pain-free living starts with understanding the intricate ties between your mind and body.

How Does Stress Impact the Nervous System?

If you’re like most people, you may not have an intimate anatomical knowledge of your nervous system. However, you’re probably familiar with the “fight or flight” response, which is governed by the sympathetic nervous system (SNS).

The SNS is an evolutionary mechanism that prepares you to fight, flee, or freeze when danger strikes. While it is useful in true emergencies, chronic activation of the SNS can lead to persistent stress. Stress affects not just the mind but the entire body. It floods the body with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, shuts off important brain functions, and contributes to inflammation.

The Role of the Autonomic Nervous System

Your stress response is part of the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which manages automatic bodily functions such as breathing rhythm, heart rate, digestion, and blood pressure. The ANS is essential for maintaining homeostasis, or a stable internal environment. It has two main branches: one to up-regulate functions and another to down-regulate them.

The SNS up-regulates your body’s responses, preparing you to handle immediate threats. Its counterpart, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), balances it out. The PNS is responsible for the “rest and digest” functions that counteract the “fight, flight, or freeze” response. The continuous interplay between the SNS and PNS keeps the body in equilibrium, which is crucial for survival. Stress can be defined as anything that disrupts this homeostasis.

The Role of the Vagus Nerve

The vagus nerve plays a significant role in this balancing act. It is one of the 12 cranial nerves that arise directly from the brain, acting like postal routes delivering information between the body and the brain.

The term ‘vagal tone’ refers to the efficiency of the parasympathetic nervous system. Think of it like muscle tone: better vagal tone indicates a more responsive and balanced PNS. A high vagal tone means that your body can relax faster after stress, maintaining a healthy equilibrium.

How Breathwork Can Help

One effective way to enhance vagal tone and activate the PNS is through slow, deep breathing, especially through the nose. This type of breathing engages the diaphragm, which is connected to the vagus nerve. When you breathe deeply, the diaphragm stimulates the vagus nerve, which in turn communicates with the heart to slow the heart rate and promote relaxation. This helps calm the entire nervous system.

Practical Breathwork Techniques

Here are some practical breath-work techniques to help manage stress and improve vagal tone:

• Diaphragmatic Breathing: Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. Breathe in slowly through your nose, allowing your abdomen to rise while keeping your chest still. Exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat for several minutes.
• 4-7-8 Breathing: Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of seven, and exhale through your mouth for a count of eight. This technique helps regulate the breath and promote relaxation.
• Box Breathing: Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold your breath for a count of four, exhale through your mouth for a count of four, and hold your breath again for a count of four. Repeat this cycle to help balance the nervous system.
• Alternate Nostril Breathing: Close your right nostril with your thumb and inhale deeply through your left nostril. Close your left nostril with your ring finger, release your thumb from your right nostril, and exhale through the right nostril. Inhale through the right nostril, then switch and exhale through the left nostril. Continue alternating for several breaths.

Understanding how stress impacts the nervous system and learning techniques to counteract its effects can greatly improve your overall well-being. By incorporating breathwork into your daily routine, you can enhance vagal tone, promote relaxation, and maintain a healthier balance between the SNS and PNS. This not only helps reduce the immediate feelings of stress but also contributes to long-term health by keeping your autonomic nervous system in equilibrium.